Empathy starts with listening—not just hearing words, but really being present and understanding the feelings and needs behind them. This practice is designed to help you develop deeper empathy, whether you’re alone, at work, or in conversation with others. It doesn’t require a partner, and you can try it in everyday interactions without anyone even knowing you’re doing it.
Step 1: Listen to Yourself First
Before we can deeply listen to others, we need to recognize what it feels like to be heard. Take a few moments to reflect on a recent conversation where someone shared something meaningful—maybe a frustration, a challenge, or even just a passing comment about their day.
What did they say? Beyond the content of their words, what might they have needed in that moment? Were they looking for reassurance? Understanding? Support? Recognition?
Now imagine you could go back to that moment with the sole intention of offering empathy instead of advice or a reaction. How would you respond more effectively? Instead of jumping in with a solution or your own story, how might you acknowledge their experience? You might say, “That sounds really frustrating,” or “I can see why that meant so much to you.”
Just this small shift—from responding to fixing—can build the muscle of deep listening.
Step 2: Practice in Everyday Interactions
As you go through your day, set a quiet intention to listen more deeply. When someone speaks to you—whether it’s a colleague, a friend, or a stranger—resist the urge to think about what you’ll say next. Instead, focus entirely on them. What emotions are present in their voice? What’s underneath their words?
In meetings or conversations, take a pause before responding. If someone is sharing a concern, try reflecting back what you hear: “It sounds like this has been really weighing on you.” If they’re excited about something, share in their joy: “That must feel amazing!”
Take a moment to offer recognition for the good in the person’s perspective. Acknowledge whatever strength or virtue you see or feel in what they’re saying. Give affirmations freely and sincerely.
When you notice yourself wanting to offer advice or shift the conversation, gently remind yourself: Right now, my job is to listen.
Step 3: Try the Silent Empathy Challenge
When you’re not speaking, you can practice empathy. The next time you’re in a meeting, on public transit, or waiting in line, observe the people around you. Without making assumptions, see if you can sense their mood. Do they seem tired? Stressed? At ease? Imagine what they might need—kindness, patience, encouragement, humor.
You don’t have to say anything. Just silently offer a moment of goodwill: I hope their day gets a little easier. I hope they feel seen today.
This simple act of presence rewires your brain for compassion, making empathy a habit rather than an effort. Over time, you can build a deep pattern of empathy that spreads to those around you.
Putting the Practice into Practice
Empathy is a simple kind of magic. By being present and attentive and letting people know—through your presence and your listening—that they matter, you can transform ordinary moments into extraordinary ones. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes. You’ll start to notice shifts in your relationships, in the way people respond to you, and most importantly, in how you feel—more connected, more positive, and more deeply in tune with the world around you.
