January 16, 2025

Take Control of Social Media Reactivity

by Robert S. Strohmeyer

Social media can be a powerful platform for connection and learning, but it’s also a space where manipulation thrives. The platforms we use daily are overtly designed to trigger strong emotional responses—outrage, envy, or a fleeting sense of superiority—because raw emotional reactions keep us engaged. Clicks equal cash, so content creators and algorithms alike leverage your psychological vulnerabilities to get them.

This isn’t just a you problem; it’s universal, and it’s the intended result of the social media industry—an industry built to capitalize on the content most likely to spark conflict, comparison, or longing because that’s where the money is. You are not alone in this, and you are not failing when you feel unsettled by the contents of your social feed.

Fortunately, you can do some simple things to maintain your center and keep your reactions in check when your feed is getting at you. The easy practices below are designed to help you regain your center, retain your emotional agency, and remain serene both in the moment and over time.

Brief Contemplation: Reclaiming Your Center in the Moment

Use this practice when you feel triggered, overwhelmed, or disconnected in the moment while using social media. It’s a quick way to pause, reflect, and regain perspective before responding or diving back into your day.

  • Pause and Breathe

Stop scrolling, put your phone down, and sit comfortably. Take three slow, deep breaths, inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling fully through your mouth. With each breath, imagine releasing tension and reclaiming calm.

  • Acknowledge Your Reaction

Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now? Name the emotion (e.g., frustration, envy, sadness). Silently remind yourself: This feeling is valid, but I don’t have to act on it.

  • Recognize the Design

Reflect briefly: This reaction isn’t just about me. Social media thrives on triggering emotions like this. Reassure yourself that it’s okay to feel this way, and you can choose whether and how to respond.

  • Reconnect to Your Center

Place your hand over your heart or rest it on your abdomen, feeling your heartbeat or the rise and fall of your breath. Repeat silently or aloud: I am more than this moment. I live within my values. If I engage, I will do so with intention and clarity.

  • Set a Positive Intention

Before returning to your feed—or stepping away entirely—choose how you want to proceed: Do I need a break from this platform? Can I scroll with curiosity rather than judgment? Set your own intention for how you will engage, if at all, and reaffirm your agency as the owner of your emotions and wellbeing.


Longer Reflection: Taking Account of Social Media’s Impact

This deeper practice is designed for periodic use—weekly or monthly—to help you reflect on how social media affects your emotions, habits, and sense of self. By taking this time, you can identify patterns and set intentions for healthier engagement.

  • Set the Stage for Reflection

Find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted. Bring a journal or open a blank document to capture your thoughts. Begin with three deep breaths, centering yourself and letting go of distractions.

  • Reflect on Your Emotional Landscape

Think back over the past week or month of social media use. Consider: When did I feel most triggered or unsettled? What emotions arose, and what seemed to cause them? How did I react in the moment?

  • Recognize Patterns and Triggers

Ask yourself: What types of content, accounts, or interactions tend to trigger me? Am I falling into comparison, outrage, or despair?

  • Understand the Mechanics

Remind yourself: Much of what I see is curated or exaggerated to provoke a reaction. Engagement is the currency of these platforms, and strong emotions are the price we pay.

  • Reframe Your Perspective

Reflect on a broader truth that can help you recenter: My worth is not tied to what I see or share. The curated lives of others do not diminish my own. Conflict and negativity don’t have to occupy my mind.

  • Gratitude and Authenticity

Make note of three things you’re grateful for in your life, unrelated to social media. Consider one way you can use social media more intentionally: How can I engage in a way that feels authentic and uplifting?

  • Set Healthy Boundaries

Commit to one or two specific actions, such as: Limiting screen time, unfollowing or muting accounts that manipulate you, and engaging only with content that inspires or informs.

  • Close with Centering

Sit quietly for a minute, breathing deeply. Repeat an affirmation that resonates with you: I am grounded, whole, and in control of my digital presence. I choose connection, not comparison.

Try these practices whenever you feel like your social media experience isn’t serving you or your emotions are heightened by online interactions. Centering yourself is the best antidote to a world designed to exploit reactivity.


Tags

authenticity, balance, resilience, social media


About the author 

Robert S. Strohmeyer

Robert S. Strohmeyer is a teacher, writer, and executive dedicated to helping people and teams achieve their highest aims. Through his Integral Centering courses, he aims to guide others through some of life's most challenging and potentially rewarding transitions and bring deeper purpose and satisfaction to the experience of work and career.

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